Fun with Johnlock
by Sony89
Summary: John tries to deal with a colourlful nickname that refers to him and Sherlock being a couple. JohnLock Friendship Oneshot :


Hello there :) This is my second Sherlock Fanfiction. I'm always having so much fun when John denies that he's gay, so i thought i would play a little with him. Have fun with this oneshot!

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**Fun with Johnlock**

John was convinced that he had somehow managed to screw up his karma. Why else would he be suffering like this? For a whole week now he had been the top joke of Scotland Yard, just because of a simple word that Sally Donovan had introduced to him:

**Johnlock.**

It was not funny, really. It was humiliating. John was so tired of always complaining and telling everybody that he was, in fact, NOT , he buried his face in his hands and shook his head. He had to do something, anything, to stop this once and for all.

He started thinking. Sherlock was having a bath, a favoured activity for him to enter his mind palace apparently, which meant that John had about an hour for himself to think about this whole issue. He didn't want Sherlock to realise immediately what he'd been thinking about. He could almost imagine his flatmate rolling his eyes and sighing: _'John, are you still thinking about Anderson's and Sally's ridiculous attempt of humiliating us? Don't be dull.'_

But he thought about it. He just couldn't get it out of his head. The events from last week just didn't leave his mind.

* * *

_John couldn't keep the smirk off his face. Sherlock had returned only two months ago from his holiday in the realm of the dead and he had already solved most of the cold cases that had piled up at Scotland Yard in the last three years._

_Lestrade had called in the morning to invite them to look at a crime scene and the consulting detective had been jumping around the living room in glee. John liked to see him this way, especially when he thought he would never be able to do so again. As they made their way from the cab to the crime scene, which was surrounded by the yellow tape to mark it and keep the curious people away, Sherlock was still smiling, looking forward to the work, while John tried not to think about how inappropriate it was to be so happy at this moment._

_Waiting at a parking police car was Sergeant Sally Donovan, with her walkie talkie in hand. Four weeks earlier she had been standing at the door of 221B, wanting to speak to Sherlock. John and Sherlock had not expected the heart-warming and truly honest apology the Sergeant had asked the consulting detective to accept, and John had feared that Sherlock would think of it as a cruel joke. But of course he saw that Sally had been truly sorry for doubting him and suspecting him of the crimes he hadn't committed. _

_The thing was, although he had accepted her apology, not a lot had changed between them, except that the nicknames she gave him were more colourful, less hurtful, but certainly more playful._

_On this day, it was no different. What John didn't expect though, was him being included in the nicknaming._

"_Well, well, if it isn't Johnlock!", she chimed and flashed them an amused smirk before lifting up the yellow crime scene tape for them._

_John frowned in confusion, while Sherlock blinked, but said nothing. Before he could ask her what she was talking about, Sally lifted up her walkie talkie and walked away. "The lovebirds are here, bringing them in.", she said, not waiting for them to follow her. She knew they were right behind her. _

_A few minutes later they were brought into a hotel room. The sheets were bloody, a young man had been stabbed in the heart. The room itself was a mess. Clothes everywhere, the chair had been thrown out of the window – it was tedious._

_Lestrade and Anderson were watching the body, when Sally brought them in. They raised their heads, Lestrade happy to see them, Anderson whit a vicious smirk on his face. Instead of throwing one of his usual tantrums though, he let his eyes wander between John and Sherlock and stepped away from the body._

"_I'm quite done here, Lestrade. I think we should give Johnlock a go on the body.", he grinned and stepped away from the dead young man, joining Sally in the corner. Lestrade rolled his eyes and stepped away as well. He looked nervous and gestured John and Sherlock to join him. _

_Sherlock, as usual, started to dance around the corpse in fascination, lifting and arm, touching the sheets, watching the bloodstains and sniffing at the skin. John sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. He just couldn't get used to the way the consulting detective worked, and the happy smile that was still gracing his face wasn't helping. Lestrade joined him, but instead of asking about the case, as he was supposed to, John leaned in to whisper another question into his ears._

"_Do you happen to know what Sally and Anderson are up to?"_

_For a moment, Greg was smirking, but when he saw Johns unamused expression, he chuckled and answered with a question himself. "You mean about the whole 'Johnlock' business?", he asked and was slightly surprised, when Johns expression turned from unamused to utter confusion. He was lost. "You really don't know about that?"_

_The doctor thought it was just one of the many colourful nicknames that Sally had come up with, but Greg convinced him, that she was just following a trend. While Sherlock was busy sniffing around the crime scene, Lestrade was showing John a particular website on his phone that made John gasp in shock._

"_What the HELL is that?", he squeaked and pressed the phone to his chest to avoid looking at the text and pictures on the website._

_Sally and Anderson were trying not to burst out into laughter, while Lestrade just put a comforting hand on Johns shoulder. Everyone except Sherlock seemed to have forgotten that there was a dead body lying on the bed with a knife buried in his chest. At Johns sudden outburst the consulting detectives head turned and he shot him a confused look. "Everything alright John?", he asked, letting the loose arm of the victim fall back on the matress without a care. Instead of answering though, John turned around, shoved Gregs phone back to it's owner and stormed out of the hotel room._

"_I'm not gay, damnit!"_

T_he case had been solved within the day and John was grateful that the detective had not been in need of his assistance this time. The doctor was far too occupied with his research. He had grabbed his laptop, trying to calm himself down with a sip from his scotch (tea was not strong enough for the answers he was about to get to his questions), and entered the colourful nickname Johnlock into the internet searching machine. _

_The results were terrifying. Every two minutes, Sherlock could hear Johns whispers from the living room, varifying from "Oh god" to "that's ridiculous", to "I never did that", and once even an "EW! That's disgusting!". Mostly though, the consulting detective heard sighs of frustration and words of denial directed to his laptop. It was, quite frankly, annoying. How was he supposed to concentrate on his experiment in the kitchen with John moaning about not being gay?_

_Of course, Sherlock knew all about the whole 'Johnlock'-Business his flatmate was researching about. It had been no surprise to him that since his return two months ago, their fans on the internet were imagining that they were finally succumbing to their feelings for each other – or whatever they were thinking about in their delusional brains. And they were expressing their feelings and wishes by apparently writing about them, photoshopping images of them making love to each other, and a lot of other quite disturbing stuff that Sherlock was happy to delete after watching them._

_After John had left the crime scene, he had asked Sally why she had picked up on the trend. She had just answered: "Well, always saying 'Hello John, hello Sherlock', was too long for me. Just calling you two 'Johnlock' is so much easier. And I have to admit, you two are quite adorable together."_

_Sherlock was surprised to see that he didn't mind in the slightest. He never really cared about the opinion of others, so what was another nickname to him? It seemed to be a huge deal to John though._

* * *

Now, a week later, John was pulling his computer onto his lap, finally deciding to do something to confront the flourishing 'Johnlock' fanbase on the internet, which seemed to be going absolutely bonkers.

Not only the whole lot of Scotland Yard was making fun of them, Mrs. Hudson had come up two days before to inform them that she found some of the so called fanfiction about them most entertaining. And that was the last straw.

Sherlock was still in the bathroom and John had approximately half an hour before he would come back. It didn't matter in the end though, because the consulting detective would see the result of his actions on the internet as soon as he was finished.

John straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath and started typing a new blog entry. The first obstacle to his new addition was, that he needed a title. What to write?

The cursor was blinking for a whole two minutes, before John decided on something quite blunt.

_**Title**: The Johnlock Business_

He knew it was not very creative, but quite frankly, he didn't care. He just knew that by bringing up the nickname in the title would get the attention of the readers.

_It came to my attention that the general public thinks I don't posses a first name anymore. _

_Well, you know what? I just don't care. John is a dull and overused name anyway, so Johnlock is quite an improvement. I have to say though that some of the things that roam around the internet are quite disturbing. I'm not really interested in Sherlocks arse, people, just so you know. Just because I save it every other week doesn't mean that I-_

"Keep on typing, John, I'm very curious about the next part.", a voice behind him suddenly said and John struggled to not let the laptop fall to the floor. Apparently, John had returned from the bathroom, his wet hair dripping onto the towel he was wearing around his neck.

Before he could say anything, Sherlock snatched the laptop from his grip, sat down on the sofa and typed a few sentences.

"Sherlock, what are you doing?", he asked, his voice dangerously low.

"Brining the world to chaos, John.", he smirked, hit the Enter button and gave the laptop back to John, who already knew that Sherlock had done something reckless.

The title was still the same, but the entry he had started to write was gone. Instead, the following words had been posted into his blog.

"_Dearest readers, this is Sherlock. Although I think that John is a very attractive human being, I have no intention of shagging him anytime soon. I am way too busy. I appreciate all the ideas though, will keep them in mind for future reference._

_SH"_

Within minutes, the counter for the comments on this single blog entry were sky rocketing into a three digit number. John, however, didn't see them until two hours later. He was way too occupied with chasing a viciously smirking consulting detective through their kitchen.

"SHERLOCK!"

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That's my attempt on humor and friendship between John and Sherlock, because their friendship is beautiful, so funny, and they really are perfect for each other. I hope you enjoyed it!


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